Her Eyes
by Disneymouse
Summary: Told by Severous Snape in 3rd person. What made him lover her, how did his heartbreak, and what will it take to be forgiven?


How long does it take for someone to figure out how they feel about another person? A few moments, perhaps it takes a couple of days before signs of the feelings emerge into reality. Or, does it happen as soon as you look into their eyes? When you feel your stomach clench not so unpleasantly, or your heart beats rapidly in your chest, does it happen then? The question of the matter remains, when did Severous Snape truly start loving Lily Evans?

Perhaps when he saw her bright red hair flying loosely in the wind at the park, or perhaps when her green eyes flashed with excitement at performing magic. The truth is, no matter how it had started, Severous was undoubtedly in love with Lily, and he didn't intend to stop doing so. Every day, even when they were both attending Hogwarts, he would smile and blush whenever she was near enjoying the goose bumps and shivers that plagued his skin whenever she was close to him.

How many times had he resisted the urge to touch her fiery locks or to kiss her smiling lips? It would take lifetime to count them and give them a number, perhaps which was the reason his love lasted for infinity; besides, does true love need a number to be satisfied?

No one really knows when you start to love someone, but they can be sure of when their heart breaks. After marrying that Potter boy, Severous wasn't sure how much his heart could take. His wound only deepened after Lily's death, and deep bitterness seeped into his heart when asked to watch over the new Potter boy. Yet, one detail stayed his anger and sorrow, one small and subtle whisper.

"He has her eyes, Severous." Dumbledore whispered. Her eyes. Lily's eyes, those beautiful, green eyes that Severous had gazed into for so long and so short. **Her** eyes.

"Very well," he muttered, "I will look after the boy."

And he did, every day, year after year he watched Harry guiding him, and mocking him when Dumbledore wasn't looking. But something unexpected happened that Snape hadn't been counting on, he also cared for the boy. Damn him for doing so, but he actually cared for Lily's son, as hard as he tried to not get emotionally involved, he still cared.

Had Harry received everything from his father's side, it would have been easier for Severous to dislike him. But, of course, his eyes were the same as his mother's, so thoughtful and caring, bright and mischievous. Whenever Harry looked at Snape directly, the potions master found it hard to look away, as if Lily was looking back at him and smiling the way she used to. Like she was still alive.

But she wasn't, and it was that reality that would cause him to look away guiltily and take away five points from Gryffindor for absolutely no reason at all. Except for the reason that those eyes reminded him of his guilt, of how he had failed to protect the one woman he would always love. It was a foreign thought to him, thinking had he not been a fool; Harry might have been their child, not James's. It also amused him how Harry and he did share some qualities, if not physical ones. For example, they were both too stubborn for their own good, not to mention pride and quickness to anger also were similar between the two.

Perhaps Lily had still thought of him, even when she was with James, and in doing so, created a part of him in Harry. Even as he lay dying on the docks with the boy who had lived staring at him with uncertainty and sympathy, the same boy he had convinced that he despised him, he honestly cared for him. Releasing the pent up memories and emotions of denial, rejection, hatred, and the sweet buds of romance, he looked up at that same boy and pleaded,

"Take it." He gasped. When Harry did nothing but look at him in confusion, he mustered what strength he had left and grabbed the young wizard by the hand and spoke again more clearly.

"Take them, Harry." He groaned, relieving his grip on Harry's wrist Severous Snape looked once more into the eyes of those he had loved. And in them, he saw his own reflected grief, but with something else. In those eyes he saw love and the forgiveness he had been waiting for his whole life. Snape couldn't have imagined a better way of dying, and for the first time in his life, he felt peace.

"Thank you, Potter." He sighed, closing his eyes, but not before catching Harry's small smile. They had been wrong, he also had her smile.

~END~

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